Tell Me It's Not True
by nomdeplum9
Summary: Elliot's attempt at helping ends up costing them their partnership. Now they're at odds, at different ends of the country, and one little baby has caused it all.
1. Chapter 1

**Story-Tell Me It's Not True**

**Author-nomdeplum9**

**Story Summary-Elliot's attempt at helping ends up costing them their partnership. Now they're at odds, at different ends of the country, and one little baby has caused it all.**

**Disclaimer-Neither the SVU characters or the song, Tell Me It's Not True from the fantastic musical Blood Brothers belong to me.**

_Tell me it's not true…_

_Say it's just a story_

_Something on the news_

Cragen was the only one who knew their secret. He had been told only because if it worked, if they succeeded, then changes would have to be made around the squadroom. He was the only one who knew, and in reality he knew very little. He knew only what they had told him and what he could observe around the bullpen.

They had told him that he would be helping her in trying to get pregnant, and he could see that it was not working.

The dynamic duo of Benson and Stabler, succeeding at cases where others would've failed, could not give Benson a baby. Their apparent failure was manifesting in their partnership.

Cragen could see it. He noticed how Elliot stopped going to the doctor with Olivia the second time every month, where she undoubtedly heard the news that she wasn't pregnant. He saw how Olivia slowly stopped drinking coffee again only to have a strong cup whenever something in a case went bad. He noticed how they snapped at each other at the slightest thing, how their steps were no longer in sync.

This thing, this dream of Olivia's, would ruin them. He could feel it. He could only wonder what the cost would be for the pair and the rest of them, who could only watch and wait.

_Tell me it's not true_

_Though it's here before me_

"How could you fail to see that?" Olivia yelled, after an informant had tipped them off about a key fact in the case. It was a Thursday and everyone was tired. Olivia had found out the day before that, for the fifth time, she wasn't pregnant.

"Well, at least I'm not a total failure…" Elliot threw back.

"Alright! Enough, you two!" Cragen yelled. "I want you to go up to the cribs and don't come down until you've solved this thing!"

And so they went. Elliot stormed up the stairs without bothering to check to see if Olivia was behind him. Olivia turned to give Cragen a look of total despair and misery before slowly dragging her feet up, step by step.

An hour passed before Elliot stormed back down the stairs and out of the 1-6. Olivia came down the stairs soon after, looking so broken and sad that Cragen immediately pulled her into his office.

"Elliot is going to transfer. Kathy had been looking to moving to California because of the school system by her sister's house and it looks like they're going to move," Olivia said quietly. "He's going to make one more donation to the Benson baby sperm bank before he leaves. After that one I think I'm done, Don. Obviously, this wasn't meant to be."

He could only nod and she left, slowly walking out of the office to sit down at her desk. She sat there for the rest of the day, looking more like an overworked secretary then one of the top detectives.

_Tell me it's not true_

_Say I only dreamed it_

_And morning will come soon_

A month later, Elliot was halfway across the country and Olivia was in her OB-GYN's office listening to the doctor.

"Ms. Benson, I'm afraid I won't be performing any procedure today," said the doctor.

"Why?" she asked.

"You're already five weeks pregnant."

* * *

**Author's Note-**_This is hopefully going to be my summer project. If you like it, tell me, because if I don't get any reviews then I'll just take it off. I have an idea of where this is going, I hope you all like it, and review!_


	2. Chapter 2

**Story-Tell Me It's Not True**

**Author-nomdeplum9**

**Story Summary-Elliot's attempt at helping ends up costing them their partnership. Now they're at odds, at different ends of the country, and one little baby has caused it all.**

**Disclaimer-Neither the SVU characters or the song, Tell Me It's Not True from the fantastic musical Blood Brothers belong to me.**

* * *

Olivia left the doctor's office with her congratulations and an appointment scheduled for the eighth week of her pregnancy

Olivia left the doctor's office with her congratulations and an appointment scheduled for the eighth week of her pregnancy.

Pregnancy. She had to tell Don. And Munch. And Fin. And Casey. And…oh god. Her baby wasn't born of a test tube and a doctor's visit. Her baby was created in the cribs of the sixteenth precinct. With Elliot, the old fashioned way…with Elliot, who was currently in California with his wife and five children.

**XXXXX**

"Olivia? I thought you had an appointment today," Cragen said, upon seeing her back in the precinct so quickly.

"Can I talk to you?" She must've looked terrible, because he nodded and she was ushered into his office.

"I'm pregnant," she admitted as she sat down.

"But that's great news! Aren't you happy?" he asked.

"What? No, of course I'm happy. It's just…" her voice trailed off and she looked down at her folded hands.

"Does Elliot know?"

One small shake of the head and Olivia was pulled up into a fatherly embrace.

**XXXXX**

In California, Elliot was busy unloading boxes from the moving van, sweating in the heat. Kathy, Kathleen, and Dicky were all helping, while Lizzie played with baby Eli on the front lawn. Maureen had opted to stay in New York to attend college.

"Wait until you guys get to school," Kathy said excitedly. "Aunt Colleen said that that it's one of the best schools in the state. Great academics, excellent course choices, and the sports program is to die for. You'll love it!" she promised.

"Why couldn't we stay in New York?" Lizzie asked, gently pulling Eli onto her lap. "The schools seemed ok there, too. They've done well so far."

"Maybe so, but California has better state colleges and the taxes are less here. It was a good move, Lizzie," Kathy replied.

"But, Dad, what about Olivia? And SVU?" Kathleen asked.

"Olivia will move on with her life," Elliot explained. "She'll have a new partner and SVU will be fine. It was time for me to move on, anyway, Katie. Olivia understood that."

"Seems pretty rotten to me," Dicky muttered.

"All right, you guys. Enough with all the chitchat. I think your dad can handle the rest of the boxes. Why don't you all go and pick out your new rooms?" suggested Kathy, and that was that.

**XXXXX**

"So my baby is due in late January, the 28th is the due date," Olivia said, once she had calmed down a bit. Cragen seemed to realize it kept her happy to keep talking about her child so he asked questions.

"And are you going to find out what it is?"

"I don't know, I mean obviously right now it's too soon, I don't think doctors can even know until around twenty weeks and wow, that's only a few months away," Olivia rattled, obviously excited.

Cragen hated to bring it up, but he knew that he had too.

"When are you going to tell Elliot, Liv?" he asked.

"When he comes back to New York to stay, that's when I'll tell him," she retorted. There was an air of finality in her voice, because she knew as well as he did that, given their current situation, he wasn't coming back anytime soon. "Besides, he was only going to be involved up to this point anyway. As far as I'm concerned he's done what I asked him to do."

"But, Liv, you know he wouldn't have just left you alone once you were pregnant. He would've been there, every step of the way," Cragen said.

"Well he's not here now," she responded darkly, laying a protective hand over her still-small stomach. "I can do this on my own."

**XXXXX**

_A.N.--Wow, thanks for so many reviews! It made my day, even all the more important because I still have classes. By the way, I'm posting this instead of studying, so if I fail it should be on your consciences...As always, please review with critiques, comments, or ideas. Also, it's really early but if anyone has baby names, boy or girl, let me know. I'll take suggestions!_


	3. Chapter 3

**Story-Tell Me It's Not True**

**Author-nomdeplum9**

**Story Summary-Elliot's attempt at helping ends up costing them their partnership. Now they're at odds, at different ends of the country, and one little baby has caused it all.**

**Disclaimer-Neither the SVU characters or the song, Tell Me It's Not True from the fantastic musical Blood Brothers belong to me.**

* * *

"On my own" turned out to be Olivia, Casey, and the rest of the SVU squad forming an even closer dysfunctional family

"On my own" turned out to be the SVU squad forming an even closer dysfunctional family. Casey, Munch, and Fin were ecstatic to hear Olivia's news, immediately becoming the baby's aunt and uncles. Casey even moved into Olivia's apartment when she hit the eight week mark to help out. Cragen was stopping by for lunch on the days that Olivia had off from work and Munch and Fin were always looking out for her during the day.

Her baby was growing wonderfully. Her stomach had a barely detectable bump and she found herself protectively covering it with her hand already. She had suffered from morning sickness, nothing terrible, but enough to wake a surprisingly chipper Casey up at five in the morning. Casey rubbed her back and got her ginger ale; Olivia couldn't have asked for a better friend.

Thoughts of Elliot dissipated in the face of Olivia's pregnancy. Cragen knew who the baby's daddy was but the others were too excited to ask. Olivia, however, dwelled on it a little bit more every day. She felt guilty for not telling Elliot, but she was also angry and hurt. He had left, and in her mind that meant he had forfeited all rights to her life.

**XXXXX**

In California, things were finally settling down. They'd been living there for a little over a month. The kids had gotten settled in school and had found a small group of friends to hang out with. Kathy got a job working at the library and Elliot was working as a security guard for a shipping company. It was a nine-to-five job. There were no calls in the early hours of the morning to go to the hospital, no victims to talk to. There was no special bond between him and his partner.

Thoughts about calling New York crossed Elliot's mind every day. He wasn't happy in California, despite how pleased Kathy was about being close to her sister. Before everything with Olivia, talks of making the move were only dreams that Kathy confided in him about. When everything was shot to hell, he made Kathy's dreams come true.

Did it matter that his heart had very neatly broken as their plane had taken off?

**XXXXX**

"Happy 16 weeks, Liv! You've finished your first trimester!" cheered Casey, handing Olivia a cupcake that had "1/3 Done" written on it in blue and pink icing. The joke was not lost on Olivia and she smiled at the kind gesture.

"Thanks, Casey. Do you want to come to my appointment today? Dr. Dunham said that I might be able to hear the heartbeat today," said Olivia.

"I'd love to come, Liv. I'm honored."

**XXXXX**

Thump, thump, thump, thump…the baby's heartbeat filled the room as the image flicked onto the ultrasound screen. Olivia felt her eyes tear up and Casey clutched at her hand.

"You have the head, arms, legs, little fingers and toes," said the doctor, pointing to the screen.

"They're so little!" cooed Casey.

"Have you been feeling alright, Olivia? Eating healthy, sleeping at night, no trouble?" asked the doctor.

"My back's been hurting a little but I have a heating pad on it. My morning sickness stopped about a week ago and everything else is doing wonderful. Casey and the guys are taking good care of me."

"Great. Well, you should be feeling the baby move in a couple weeks, or sooner if your baby is a strong little fighter. Your next appointment should be around week 22, just so we can make sure everything's going smoothly."

Casey nodded and added the date into her PDA. Olivia could only nod and offer a small smile. At the mention of her baby being strong, of being a fighter, she could only think of Elliot.

**XXXXX**

_Thanks for the reviews!! School's out, and I should be focusing a lot more attention to this. Keep the reviews and the names coming, I love all of the ideas so far! And please, if you have the time to add me or my story as an alert, please leave a review as well. You have no idea how much it means to me. Until next time!_


	4. Chapter 4

Story-Tell Me It's Not True

**Story-Tell Me It's Not True**

**Author-nomdeplum9**

**Story Summary-Elliot's attempt at helping ends up costing them their partnership. Now they're at odds, at different ends of the country, and one little baby has caused it all.**

**Disclaimer-Neither the SVU characters or the song, Tell Me It's Not True from the fantastic musical Blood Brothers belong to me.**

At week 19, Olivia felt the baby move.

"_I'm telling you guys, he did—oh!"_

"_What's wrong?" asked Munch, immediately concerned._

"_It moved. The baby moved!"_

By week 24, she had "popped" and was now visibly pregnant.

"_Liv, it's time to…"Cragen started, but she interrupted him almost instantly._

"_Start thinking about maternity leave? I know. Dr. Dunham was waiting to see how long I could last at work before it became a problem."_

"_You should stop worrying about work and be more focused on enjoying your pregnancy, Liv. But you're always welcome to come visit SVU."_

The baby had reached the size of a honeydew at 32 weeks. Olivia had spent the past six weeks searching for a suitable apartment. She found it, between the park and SVU. It was in a friendly neighborhood, low crime rate, and close to work and a highly-acclaimed daycare.

"_Where do you want this box?" questioned Cragen._

"_That one's for the nursery, second room to the right," Olivia directed, resting in an armchair._

"_And this one, Liv?" Munch added._

"_Family room, straight ahead."_

**XXXXX**

Had they really lived in California for seven months? It seemed like only yesterday that he and Olivia…

No. He had to stop thinking like that. He lived in California now, thousands of miles away from the city, existing happily with his wife and children.

Thing was, Kathy had become his ex-wife. Again. For the last time. Elliot lived in a townhouse now, seeing the kids on the weekends and after his miserable nine-to-five job when they could meet. Kathleen was talking about returning to the East Coast for school and the twins were growing up, having their own lives that didn't include him.

He knew he was retreating back into himself but he didn't care. His children didn't seem to want to be around him anymore and they were what kept him in California. If it wasn't for the fact that he and Olivia weren't on speaking terms, he would've been on a plane months ago.

**XXXXX**

Ever since she had gone on her maternity leave, Olivia made a point to visit the squad-room at least twice a week, typically bringing lunch. It was her second visit during her 34th week when something truly strange happened to her.

"Olivia? Is that you? You're pregnant?"

Maureen Stabler.

**XXXXX**

_Keep the reviews coming! I'm sorry to get this out so late but I've been rather busy with summer. I'll be leaving for a vacation tonight, so I wanted to get this posted. I'm bringing my laptop but I don't know how much time I'll have for writing. As always, review, and I need baby names!_


	5. Chapter 5

**Story-Tell Me It's Not True**

**Author-nomdeplum9**

**Story Summary-Elliot's attempt at helping ends up costing them their partnership. Now they're at odds, at different ends of the country, and one little baby has caused it all.**

**Disclaimer-Neither the SVU characters or the song, Tell Me It's Not True from the fantastic musical Blood Brothers belong to me.**

"Wow, Liv, you look great. How far along are you?" asked Maureen, once the initial shock had worn off.

"34 weeks," answered Olivia proudly, hand resting comfortably on her baby bump.

"And you're still working?" There was an incredulous look on the teenager's face that matched her tone.

"Oh, no, but I miss the guys too much and besides, they wouldn't know what to do without me," she joked.

"She also knows that if she doesn't show her face once in a while that she would have a very worried group of detectives knocking on her door," added Munch as he fixed himself a coffee.

"So do you know what you're having?"

"No, I decided to keep it a surprise. How's school going?" Olivia asked, deciding it was a safe topic of conversation.

"Good. I love NYU a lot, even though it's getting pretty rough as we get closer to midterms. But once they're done I have winter break so I get to relax."

"That's really great, sweetie, I'm glad things are going well for you. Unfortunately, I have an appointment to get to, but if you ever want to hang out or just talk, I'm here for you." Her new address and phone number was handed over and with that she was gone.

**XXXXX**

"So do you think Dad knows?" questioned Maureen, pressing the speaker button on her phone.

"I don't think so, otherwise he'd be back there in a heartbeat," responded Kathleen, resting on her bed in California.

"But why? I mean, it's not like it's his kid in there…"

"Maureen Alexandra Stabler! Did you even do the math? You said Liv was what, 34 weeks along? That's a little over seven months…do you know what also happened a little over seven months ago?"

"Dad told Mom that he was through with SVU and he wanted to move to…oh my god!"

**XXXXX**

Olivia and Casey were hosting Christmas and a baby shower at Olivia's apartment when Olivia reached her eighth month.

"Merry Christmas, everyone!" called Liv, bringing out a Yule Log cake for dessert. Casey trailed behind her with cupcakes decorated with baby things like rattles or teddy bears.

After dessert Olivia opened baby shower presents, basking in her pregnant glow and surrounded with people who cared for her.

"Munch this book of fairy tales is amazing!" she gasped, turning the aged book over in her hands.

"Fin this baby blanket is so soft…."

"Casey this teddy bear is absolutely adorable!"

Finally…

"Oh, Don…." she whispered. "This is too much. You shouldn't have."

In her hands was an official notice establishing a trust fund for one Baby Benson, to be officially opened once the baby was born.

"Your child should never want for anything, Liv. You will shower him or her with all of the love and affection you can give, but if anything should happen…"

"Then, Don, you and the rest of SVU will raise my baby with just as much love, if not more. Thank you so much, everyone, for rising to the occasion."

"We're a family, Liv. It's what we do."

Grandpa, uncles, and aunt each hugged the mother in turn, but the person missing was the one who would have completed the picture they made.

**XXXXX**

"Merry Christmas, Dad!" Maureen called, getting off the airplane and running into her father's arms.

"It's good to have you back, Mo," Elliot responded.

"Hey, Daddy, I question about Olivia…"

**XXXXX**

_I am so sorry for being so late with this. My vacation was amazing and I miss all of the people I met. Anywho, I still need baby names and votes for what gender the baby should be. As always, read and review and I'm back on track with this story!_


	6. Chapter 6

"Pregnant?" Elliot choked. "But…when? How?"

"Well, Daddy, if you don't know the answer to that last one I really have no idea how it happened that I'm even here, not to mention the four younger siblings at home," muttered Maureen sarcastically.

"You're a regular comedian," he said dryly, still trying to grasp the situation. "Did she say anything about how she and the baby were doing? Tell me everything!"

"Calm down, Daddy, seriously. She was 34 weeks when I saw her, eight months…she's not working but still keeping in touch with the others at SVU. She gave me a new address and phone number so I guess she moved, too. She seemed happy, glowing."

"Glowing…" he echoed quietly. "34 weeks. Did she say what she was having?"

"She wanted it to be a surprise."

"And did she say that she was happy with her boyfriend, baby daddy…?"

"Dad, I think you know as well as I do that she never mentioned such a thing. As far I as I could understand, she's doing this on her own. Munch, Fin, Cragen, and Casey may be helping her, but she's totally on her own."

**XXXXX**

Casey had insisted on doing the dishes and cleaning up after the Christmas and baby shower party, sending Olivia to bed so that she could rest. At eight months pregnant, she waddled instead of walked and had achieved becoming the size of a basketball, it seemed.

With Casey bustling around in the background Olivia allowed her mind to drift to Elliot for the first time that night. It was Christmas Day, Maureen was surely in California and that would mean that by now Elliot, if not the whole Stabler family, knew that she was pregnant.

Whether she was happy or upset about this, she did not know. On one hand she thought that perhaps tonight she would sleep happily, now that Elliot knew. On the other hand, she didn't want to Elliot to come back to New York for a confrontation then simply leave again. It wasn't just her Elliot would walk away from, it was a child, her child, and she wouldn't stand for it. On the other hand, maybe Elliot would come back to stay with her, forever. On the other hand Elliot might not come back at all and now she could just be wasting her time with wishful thinking.

Too many hands, too many possibilities. The only thing that she could be absolutely sure of was the fact that Elliot now knew that she was with child. Anything after that was merely a guessing game and at this point of her life she just wasn't into playing.

**XXXXX**

It was one of the biggest decisions he'd ever faced. No, scratch that. The biggest decision of Elliot's life was in front of him and he couldn't afford to screw it up.

Does he go back to her? Tell her that he was sorry for hurting her, that he merely used her as a punching bag when his own life got all messed up and that he wanted to be a part of her life once more? Should he tell her that he's so happy that she finally achieved what she wanted in life? Would it be selfish to be proud that he had helped?

Or he could stay with his five oldest children. The ones who accepted his guidance, albeit with some difficulty at times. He got along with their mother and had a steady job. The weather was nice, the pay was a hundred times better, and he didn't know what would be there for him in New York.

Actually, that was a lie. He knew what was in New York. The woman he loved beyond all reason and the child they had made together, they were in New York.

With that idea repeating in his mind like a mantra, he knew what he had to do.

**XXXXX**

_The response for the last chapter was amazing! Thanks so much. Let's keep it up and try to out-do the last chapter, ok? It makes me so much more confident in my writing. This chapter is short only because I felt it was an appropriate place to stop. Keep the baby names/gender suggestions coming! Surprisingly enough, I still haven't made up my mind! Thanks for reading!_


	7. Chapter 7

The date? January 23rd. The mood? Slightly apprehensive, if not downright anxious. The reason? One detective Olivia Benson, heavily pregnant, almost due and very tired of not being able to see her feet.

It wasn't that she hadn't enjoyed her pregnancy, she had, but that all been mere anticipation for the baby. All of her mood swings, doctor visits, and cravings, although the worst had been an odd combination of doritos and a chocolate shake, had been merely obstacles that she had had to overcome in order to prove herself ready to be a mom. She was healthy and ready, her baby was just as healthy, if not a little more content to remain in it's current condition a little while longer. It was frustrating.

She wanted to make a bottle, change a diaper, and sing a lullaby. She wanted to be woken up at three in the morning not by a phone call from Cragen but by the crying of a hungry or lonely child. She missed having coffee and wearing normal clothes and not randomly going from happy to angsty in mere seconds. Her pregnancy had been fun while it lasted, but it was most certainly time. She wanted this, more then anything else she had ever wanted in her life.

**XXXXX**

Right after New Years Elliot had given two weeks' notice on his job. In that two weeks, he found a realtor who located a suitable appartment for him in NYC, had packed and shipped the majority of his belongings, and had informed his children of what he was doing. He had been honest, brutally so, telling them that while he was very upset to be leaving little Eli so young, this chance to see if he had the love of his old partner and the love of their child was too important to miss. His children were happy that he would be happy and promised to come out for spring break to meet their little half-sibling.

He had also done the hardest task of all, called Cragen and begged for a job back.

_"Elliot, I assume you know that Olivia isn't working right now...and that you know why."_

_"I know."_

_"Regardless, she hasn't had an easy time of it, being brave and happy for the others. They don't even know. It took Casey three weeks to convince her to allow her to move in. If you come back, so help me God Elliot you had better stay, because if you leave again there isn't going to be a damn thing worth coming back to in New York."_

In the end, Cragen had forgiven him somewhat, wishing him a safe flight and good luck once he arrived in the city. It was a lot from the older man, who saw himself as Olivia's father, and he was grateful.

So all that was left was the packing of the last few things and his flight. He had printed out his ticket on Maureen's computer. Flight A107, Delta Airlines, January 24th.

**XXXXX**

January 24th, 2009, was a snowy Saturday in the city. Olivia was sitting down to a late dinner with Casey, Munch, Fin, and Cragen, all of whom found various reasons to stay close as her due date neared. The Chinese food, Olivia's request, was dished out and the radio was playing quietly as they talked about baby names.

"So, got any names picked out, Liv? What's the little tyke gonna be called?" asked Fin.

"I still haven't picked my favorite," admitted Olivia with a sigh. "I have two top five lists, boys and girls, but I can't seem to decide."

"Well let's hear 'em," said Munch. "We can help. I happen to find the name John very appealing."

"Cute, Munch, but for boys I was thinking James, Christopher, Matthew, Daniel, or Jeffrey."

"Oooh, Jeffrey is a cute name!" cooed Casey. "And if it's a little princess?"

"My top five are Charlotte, Grace, Anna, Sophia, and Eleanor."

"Anna Benson has a nice ring to it," said Cragen.

"All of the names are...Liv, what's wrong?" Munch asked, concern apparent the second Olivia's face flashed a moment of pain.

"I think my water broke...I'm going into labor and it hurts!"

"Everyone, you know your jobs, get going!" yelled Casey, and everyone sprang into action.

**XXXXX**

His plane had landed safely and all of his luggage had made it. After dropping off his suitcases he decided the best thing to do was make his way to the precinct. One thing Maureen had not done was give up Olivia's new phone number and address, saying that if Liv wanted him to know she would've told him straight off and that he didn't need to resort to snooping around to win the love of his life.

So here he was, one block away from one of the most familiar buildings in the city, almost ready to cross the street when an unmarked police car sped by, sirens blaring. A truck in the middle in the road caused the car to stop for all of five seconds, but in those five seconds he could've sworn he saw Cragen and Munch in the front seat and Casey, Fin, and a very unhappy Olivia in the back.

Only after the truck had moved and the Casey look-a-like had pointed anxiously in the direction of Mercy General Hospital did Elliot do the math. Maureen had said Olivia was 34 weeks about four weeks ago...

In an instant he was flagging down a cab and barking orders to be taken to Mercy General, and quick.

**XXXXX**

_So would you believe my computer broke down, and that the computer place that promised only four days would be the waiting period decided to take about three weeks? I know, I'm having trouble buying it too. But that's the case. Anywho, I hope people are still reading and maybe we can hit over one hundred reviews for this fic. The ten names in the story include my final choices so let me know if you like/dislike any of them. As always, read, review, and thanks so much for the support!_


	8. Chapter 8

"Liv, are you sure you wanna do this all-natural

"Liv, are you sure you wanna do this all-natural?" asked Casey, hearing Olivia refuse drugs.

"I've been shot, stabbed, and hit any number of times. One little childbirth isn't gonna kill me…" huffed Olivia, coming down from another contraction.

"Yeah, but Liv, we all know that you're strong, we won't think anything less of you for choosing not to suffer through this with all of the pain."

"I'll think less of myself. Can you get the nurse? I feel another contract—oww!"

**XXXXX**

Elliot Stabler burst into the maternity ward of Mercy General with the anxious run that only an expectant father could muster. Almost too perfectly, he walked up to the nurse's station just as Casey rushed up.

"Casey? Where's Liv?" Elliot asked hurriedly.

Casey managed to somewhat mask her surprise after staring blankly for a few minutes. A pale shaky hand pointed down the hall.

**XXXXX**

"Breathe, Liv, Casey will be back soon. Short breaths, ok?" coached Cragen, oblivious to Elliot appearing at the door. Olivia, however, saw him and grabbed onto the captain's lapel with a tight fist.

"Don I'm hallucinating. He's not here, he definitely isn't here now!" she groaned loudly. Cragen turned around and inwardly matched Olivia's groan. He managed to pry her iron fist off of his shirt before quickly ushering Elliot out the door.

"What in God's name do you think you're doing?" he asked, cornering Elliot against the opposite wall.

"That's my kid she's trying to push out!" Elliot retorted.

"That doesn't matter right now. Remember what I told you? She's been doing this on her own for so long, and she's been so brave and strong…" Cragen said, pausing as they heard Olivia's slightly muffled groans from her hospital room. "She refused drugs, you know that? All of that pain she's feeling, she's doing it to prove herself. For the past nine months Casey and I have been trying to tell her that she will be the best mother she can be to her child, but do you know what voice she hears in her head? It's yours. She hears you calling her a total failure in front of everyone in the squad room and whatever else you said to her in the cribs that day."

"Don, I…" Elliot's voice trailed off into nothing.

"No, Elliot. I get that you weren't happy right before you left, but you can't just go in there now and expect that she'll reach for your hand as a contraction hits and everything will be okay. She's hurt, and she's scared, and she's about to do the second most frightening thing in her life."

"What was the first?" Elliot asked, before he could stop himself.

"She tried to move on with her life, complete with the baby she wanted so much…she tried to move on from you."

**XXXXX**

"Casey, he's here!" Olivia heaved, going through another contraction. "He's here and I'm giving birth and it's his and he's here!"

"It's gonna be—wait, he's the father?" Casey asked, eyes wide.

"Ugh, yes! He was helping me with in vitro and then we fought and he moved and I found out I was pregnant," she groaned, bracing herself for the next contraction. "Speaking of the son of a bitch, where is he? Don pushed him out of here over ten minutes ago and I haven't seen them since."

"I think they're having a man-to-man in the hallway, but right now you're the priority, Liv. Where's the damn doctor?"

**XXXXX**

The doctor rushed into the room just as Cragen and Elliot appeared in the doorway.

"Everything under control here?" Cragen asked.

"Get him out!" Olivia grunted, clutching Casey's hand.

"Ms. Benson, you need to push, ignore the people around you, ok? It's just you, me, and baby Benson. You want to meet your little boy or girl, don't you?" coached the doctor.

"Yes…." growled Olivia, keeping a death grip on Casey.

The encouragement lasted a few minutes longer with Cragen and Elliot watching fascinated from the doorway. Then the sound of a baby's cry filled the suddenly silent room before the doctor's cry of…

"It's a girl!"

**XXXXX**

_So I'm just awful enough to leave it there, isn't it great? I love cliffhangers with a passion, in case you haven't noticed. So as always, read and review and just in case it isn't clear I don't have rights to squat except for the little girl. I think I get to keep her, surprisingly enough. Anywho, let me know what you think! Reviews are golden!_


	9. Chapter 9

Elliot, Cragen, and Casey had been rushed from Olivia's room soon after the baby was born. Casey and Cragen were called in one at a time, apparently by Olivia's request, and went home as the visiting hours ended.

Elliot stayed, sitting outside her room trying to work up the nerve to go in. He heard the nurse come to take the baby for the night and Olivia protested. A bassinet was wheeled in to accommodate her but somehow Elliot knew that the baby would sleep with her mother that night.

Finally, after what seemed like an endless internal battle over what to do, he managed to bring himself to the doorway, nervously peeking in through the half-opened door. What he heard made his heart ache even more.

"I promise to love you always, my precious sweetheart, no matter what," he heard Liv whisper, and he knew that she was talking to her daughter.

"I promise to kiss your hurts and help you learn from your mistakes. I promise that you will never doubt my love for you and that you can trust me with anything. I promise that there will be no alcohol, no men, and no cause for any harm to come to you. I promise to try my hardest to be the best, fairest, and coolest mom you could wish for. I promise I won't fail," she murmured. Elliot felt responsible for the catch in her voice.

"I love you, Charlotte Sophia. Plus que ma vie. More than my life."

**XXXXX**

Somehow, after hearing her baby cry for the first time and listening to Dr. Dunham announce that she had a daughter, Olivia could only think that Charlotte Sophia was the perfect name. It wasn't terribly old-fashioned, but it wasn't a new-age name either. There were suitable nicknames that went along with Charlotte, should her daughter decide one day to choose one. Better yet, Charlotte sounded right coming before both Benson and Stabler.

That was the choice she had antagonized over since becoming pregnant. Was the baby a Benson or a Stabler? And so, after promising all that she could give to Charlotte, she was left with an incomplete birth certificate and an awake and content baby in her arms.

"Charlotte, sweetheart, it looks like I'm at the second decision of your life and already I'm stuck," Olivia admitted. The baby waved a tiny fist in response.

"But hey, we're a team right? The mother-daughter duo like no other. So, sweetheart, I need to know what you think. Does Charlotte Sophia Benson or Charlotte Sophia Stabler sound good to you?"

**XXXXX**

Charlotte. Charlotte Sophia. A beautiful name for an already beautiful child. His child. The mere fact that Olivia would even consider giving Charlotte his last name raised his hopes ever so slightly.

With Olivia staring intently into Charlotte's eyes as if waiting for some miraculous sign, he decided to make his entrance.

"Olivia?"

**XXXXX**

Damn him. She had just given birth, for God's sake, and here he was. He probably hadn't even left the hospital yet.

"There is nothing you could possibly say to me right now that I want to hear. My daughter and I would appreciate some time to ourselves, so you can leave now," Olivia said lightly, never once looking up from Charlotte's face.

"My daughter too, Liv," Elliot reminded, working to keep his temper at bay.

"Go home. Get on a plane and go home and just forget, alright?" asked Olivia. Her voice dropped an octave and she finally met his gaze with a stony expression. Her eyes, the usual giveaways, were closed. Blank. Emotionless.

"I don't want to forget, Olivia. Not about this," he said strongly, shooting a determined look at the now-sleeping newborn.

"Really? You want to remember the doctor visits? The disappoint you can't deny that you felt when it turned out that I wasn't pregnant, month after month? You moved to the other side of the country to forget."

"Moving was a mistake. Kathy and I are divorced. The twins are grown-ups, Eli will understand. What matters is us, Liv. You and me and our daughter."

"My daughter, Elliot. Mine. My precious baby. I've let you pile on your emotional crap and taken the rage for years. There was a time where I believed I could put my life and all that came with it in your hands. My life is this little girl and I would rather die then let her know the feeling that came when that belief was shattered," Olivia softly said, and her eyes flashed brutal pain for a moment as she rocked the baby in her arms.

"I would never—"

"But you already have, El. You already have and I will heal over time but I will not let my innocent daughter suffer. Now get out."

Her voice returned to the cold and monotone sound as she shifted slightly in her hospital bed, hiding Charlotte from view and tucking her face into the baby's soft brown hair. The conversation was over and Elliot could do was remove himself for the picture, at least temporarily, while he strategized and got his bearings in the city once more.

**XXXXX**

_So...Charlotte Sophia. Like it? Hate it? I had already chosen out the first name when a vast majority of reviewers said they liked it. I'm so happy! Also, I've been testing out that reader traffic thing and I had no idea so many people from so many different countries read my story! We've got a wide spread and I hope everyone is enjoying it. As always, read, review, not mine, etc..._


	10. Chapter 10

Three days later, on January 27th, Olivia and Charlotte Benson returned home

Three days later, on January 27th, Olivia and Charlotte Benson returned home. Casey also moved out, promising to be only a phone call away. In those three days, Charlotte, or Lottie as everyone affectionately called her, had woken up and grown very attached to her mother, crying softly when she wasn't in the vicinity. Her eyes were blue, but more like the icy color from Serena Benson. Elliot's baby blue genes had been overridden, it seemed.

Other things in her baby girl were obviously Elliot, though. Charlotte had his smile and his very blunt stubborn attitude. Olivia could see his nose in-between Serena's eyes and Olivia's plump little mouth. She wasn't sure what her mouth would look like pulled into Elliot's smile, but the combination made her smile. Lottie also already had a full head of hair, a soft dark brown fuzz that could be attributed to either parent.

Thankfully, Elliot had respected her wishes. She hadn't seen him since she had told him to get out the night Charlotte was born. After their less then agreeable encounter, she had scribbled Benson as the last name and had been done with it. Charlotte was her child. She was tired of falling and having to get up again. She could do this, the single parenting thing. She had her dysfunctional family, and Lottie's aunts and uncles and grandpa were more then enough, more then what she had had when she had grown up. Everything would be just fine in the end.

**XXXXX**

Cragen had been reluctantly informing him of what was going on with Charlotte, starting from when Benson was written on the birth certificate. He was notified and cautioned when mommy and baby went home and Casey moved out.

Cragen had asked him if he had a plan, and he didn't. All he could say was that the woman he loved had just given birth to a child that he loved just as much. He could see that Cragen felt bad for him, stuck with no wife and children either far away or hidden from him. The paternal protection the older man felt for Olivia was enough to hold off from giving her address for two whole weeks.

**XXXXX**

Since coming home, Olivia and Charlotte had settled into a comfortable routine. Olivia had been lucky, Charlotte hardly ever cried and was content to snuggle into her mother's arms with a smile on her face.

The doctor had checked out Charlotte and declared her the perfect baby that Olivia knew she was. She was developing right on schedule and the pair was healthy as could be. After offering a few last bits of advice, Dr. Dunham cleared them and they were on their own again.

The others were doing great with the newest member of the SVU family, too. Cragen had been visiting the pair for lunch whenever possible, always bringing some gift or toy for the newborn. Munch and Fin had enjoyed Sunday brunches for the past two weeks, each taking some time with the baby for themselves to bond. Casey had reserved the rights to Wednesday night dinner, after softball practice. Everyone came together on Friday nights for take out or pizza or something else, always ordering enough that Olivia would have lunch the next day.

Olivia was happy, anyone who saw her could testify to that. It was obvious that she loved her daughter more then life itself and yet, sometimes if the two were caught in a private moment one could swear that there was a brief flicker of sadness that flew across her face.

Casey had stayed late one Wednesday night and discovered the reason why. She had cleared up the dishes and left Olivia alone to put the baby down. She was going to ask if Olivia wanted the leftover spaghetti sauce when she intruded on the final moments of Charlotte's bedtime routine.

"Goodnight, Charlotte, sweet dreams. Mama and Daddy love you very much, sweetheart."

Casey stopped dead in her tracks, turned around, and was on the phone with Cragen in an instant.

**XXXXX**

"Elliot, good to see you," Cragen greeted, getting up from his chair at the bar table to shake Elliot's hand. "How's it going?"

"I've been better," Elliot replied honestly. "You called and said you wanted to see me?"

"Casey called after one of her dinners with Liv and the baby. She said that she overheard Lottie's bedtime routine and Olivia mentioned you in her goodnight. She got worried, called me."

"Did Casey say what Olivia said?"

"Apparently she was tucking Lottie in and she said, 'mama and daddy love you very much,' after saying goodnight."

"Oh, god…" Elliot whispered, his voice mangled and rough with emotion. "I gotta see them, Captain. Please, I gotta see them."

Cragen handed him a slip of paper with an address just west of Central Park. Elliot thanked him quickly and was out the door in an instant.


	11. Chapter 11

Elliot knew he was cutting it close

Elliot knew he was cutting it close. It was late at night and surely Olivia was putting down their daughter for the night, but he still had to rush over immediately. He knew the neighborhood, it was calm, safe, and a good place for a child. He found her apartment building and rode the elevator in nervous silence, fidgeting with his hands as he tried out several things to say when he arrived.

He knocked quietly, rapping at the door with his knuckles, and Olivia opened the door with Charlotte and a spit-up rag on her shoulder.

She stared at him a moment, opened her mouth to say something, decided against it, and slammed the door in his face.

**XXXXX**

She had just finished with Lottie's dinner and was trying to coax the last few burps out of the baby when there was a soft knock at the door. She wasn't expecting anyone, but Munch had mentioned he had been meaning to stop by one night with another present for the baby.

She nearly had a heart attack when she saw Elliot Stabler through the peephole. For a moment she was determined to just turn around and ignore him when she saw the regret and resolve in his eyes. Deciding it was best to just confront him directly, she opened the door.

Every grateful and friendly and loving emotion she felt towards her ex-partner came flooding back as he stood in her doorway. Suddenly she realized how stupid and awful she looked and slammed the door in his face, rushing to put the spit-up rag away and putting Lottie in her rocking babyseat before calmly heading towards the door.

"Elliot," she said curtly, opening the door a second time.

"Olivia," he breathed, visibly happy to be let in. "Can we talk, please?"

**XXXXX**

As he made his way into the apartment Elliot mentally kicked himself for the most clichéd post-breakup thing to say…_Can we talk, please? _Might as well post a sign on his back that read 'Idiot ex, come to grovel and hope to God for forgiveness.'

The only thing wrong was that he wasn't her ex, not in the usual sense of the word. Technically, their relationship was merely partner-to-partner, close friends and coworkers, and for a time he viewed his helping her to become a mother as an extension of that relationship.

He tried to shake those thoughts out of his head as Olivia led him into her living room, where Charlotte was rocking happily, a stuffed bear in her lap. His heart warmed instantly, a grin spreading across his face as he took in the sight of his daughter's chubby little body, adorable face, and tiny hands and feet, the latter covered in fuzzy pink socks.

"Liv…" he whispered roughly, "she's absolutely beautiful."

"I bought that ridiculous rocking seat months ago, never taking into consideration that everyone was fascinated by her….she hardly spends more then two minutes in it or on the floor before someone picks her up and cuddles her again," she replied, and it was clear that the fact that everyone at SVU had accepted their familial roles had made her quite happy.

"Well no wonder, Liv, she's….adorable, a perfect little girl," he said. In his mind, he added, 'a perfect little princess, and I can't believe she's mine.'

"Would you….would you like to hold her?" Liv offered hesitantly, and Elliot's world stood still.

**XXXXX**

Sometimes Olivia could just about kick herself for the stupid stuff she let come out of her mouth. She didn't want this, need this….letting the father of the newborn baby wasn't a good thing for any sensible single mom. She was an idiot, but she wanted Lottie to be happy above all things.

Gently, she picked up her daughter from the babyseat, tickling her softly and kissing the top of her head as Elliot moved to sit down on her couch. Tenderly, she lowered Lottie into Elliot's waiting arms, smoothing over the fuzz on the baby's head as she retreated quickly for the camera.

The photo she took would be one she would look at for years to come. Elliot hadn't seen her advancing with the camera in her hand, and the look on his face as he cradled his daughter was something words could not describe.

**XXXXX**

_**So, I decided to go against my own tendency to leave a cliffhanger because I'm going on vacation and the likelihood of me sponging a computer for the time taken to type up a chapter is simply not gonna happen. So enjoy, remember that although they're not mine I love input on my portrayal of them, and thanks for reading!**_


	12. Chapter 12

Doing this, Olivia realized, was dangerous

Doing this, Olivia realized, was dangerous. Very dangerous. Even though Charlotte would never remember this particular encounter, it was dangerous. Somehow, her mother's voice was echoing in her head.

_Stupid child….stupid Olivia, should've known better…_

Yup, her mother's voice, loud and clear, coming in just fine from the wavelengths of the dead and buried. And Serena was right. It was a stupid idea, letting Elliot into her apartment. Her witnessing this Hallmark moment was stupid, too. But still, it felt very right, handing Charlotte off to the person whom Olivia had trusted with her life for the better part of a decade.

"It's her bedtime," she murmured quietly, breaking the spell that had come over the three of them for the past few minutes. "I need to change her and put her down and then, if you're still here, we'll talk."

**XXXXX**

Charlotte Sophia Benson, or Stabler, as Elliot saw it in his mind, was perfect. No doubts about it. She was content, smiling, and beautiful; a perfect blend of what Elliot liked best about both himself and Olivia. He wouldn't ever want to cross the little girl when she got older, given the likelihood of a temper, but she had Olivia's easy nature and mouth that was easy to pull into a trademark Stabler smile.

His time with Charlotte was cut short when Olivia whisked her off to bed, letting Elliot collect his thoughts and work on what he was going to say. Once his nerves had calmed down he ventured down the hallway where Olivia and Charlotte had disappeared and he caught sight of a beautiful baby's room, done in green and yellow shades. Olivia was rocking softly in the rocking chair in the corner of the room, singing a lullaby to the droopy-eyed baby. After a few moments of listening in, it dawned on him that the lullaby was in French and Elliot was surprised at how easily Olivia sung the words.

He watched as Olivia finished up with her song and tucked in the sleeping baby. He saw her smooth her hand over the fuzz covering Charlotte's head and pull the wooly blanket over the tiny body.

"Goodnight, Charlotte, sweet dreams. Mama and daddy love you very much," he heard her whisper, and he found himself nodding in agreement.

**XXXXX**

It came as no surprise that after Olivia was finished tucking in Charlotte Elliot was there, watching. She turned and met his gaze for a quick second, knowing he had heard her special goodnight to Charlotte, and brushed past him back into the family room, settling down with her now-cold cup of tea.

"When do you go back to California?" she asked quietly, staring at the tea dregs instead of looking at him as he sat down in front of her.

"I'm not," he answered softly. "I'm back in New York City to stay."

"What about Kathy? The kids?"

"I'm divorced, Liv. The kids will fly out and see me during the summer and for the holidays. I decided that it was more important to be here," he said, and that got her attention.

"You're so full of it, Elliot," she muttered.

"I made a mistake. I should never have moved to California. I should've…"

"What, Elliot?" Olivia snapped.

"I should've been here for you."

"Been here for me? For what? For my pregnancy? I didn't need you, Elliot. I've never needed you. You offered to be a baby daddy, not a pregnancy partner. You left when the going got a little rough and I was just fine without you," she retorted.

"You know as well as I do I never would've been just a sperm donation, Olivia. I would've helped you."

"But you didn't. You hated that I had done the one thing you couldn't do, you hated it so much you couldn't stand it."

"What was that, Olivia?" asked Elliot angrily.

"I put family before the job, El. I finally managed to get my head out of my ass and do something right and try and make a family, and when that became more important then the job you bailed."

The silence between them was deafening for a long moment before a small cry was heard and Olivia rushed away.

**XXXXX**

_I'm baaack!! Miss me? I know, living without TMINT is just too hard. I kept writing it in my head, so give me lots of reviews and you get more! As always, not mine, reviews make me deliriously happy, etc._


	13. Chapter 13

Charlotte, it seemed, was good on picking up her mother's tension. It took about twenty minutes for Olivia to rock her daughter back to sleep, mumbling small promises and comforting words about how Lottie's mama wasn't always such an ignorant fool.

She knew she was hoping for too much, but a very large part of Olivia's mind wanted Elliot to be halfway back to California by the time she put Charlotte back down and cleaned up the apartment a little, rinsing the day's washcloths and fixing herself a new cup of tea. When she returned he was still in the living room, wandering around and looking at the various pictures she had already displayed in the room.

"Olivia, I—" he began, but she put her hand up to stop him.

"I don't want to get into this now, Elliot. It's late, I'm tired, and the tension is upsetting my daughter. Go away," she murmured quietly.

"I'll go, Liv, but we need to talk about this soon, we need to fix us," he replied.

"There's nothing to talk about. In three months, I'll come back to SVU working like Munch has been working, staying at the precinct and working constricted duty. There won't be an us, El. Whatever we had, whatever we might've had ended when you put your clothes on and walked out of my life. Goodbye." With that she turned around and disappeared down a hallway, making it quite clear that Elliot wasn't to follow her.

He was left no choice but to leave her apartment, staying outside the door until he heard the lock click into place.

**XXXXX**

"I should hate him, Casey. I want to hate him. I want to yell and hurt him just like he's hurt me. But he gave me Charlotte. He broke me down not knowing he was giving me the best thing I could ever receive," Olivia whispered, rocking her baby to sleep while Casey watched concernedly.

"Liv, you need to decide if you want him back in your life, if you can look past the awful things he's done and embrace the good you know is there."

"But that's just it! I always came back to him. I put myself through his hell and he cast me aside. I can't just ignore the fact that he left. If I hadn't talked to Maureen, hadn't gotten pregnant, he would've stayed gone," murmured Olivia, and there was a brokenness to her voice that Casey had never heard before.

"You don't know that that's true, Liv. I think he would've found his way back before long," said Casey.

"I'm not his plaything! He can't just up and leave and expect me waiting for when he comes back. And you didn't hear him, Case. He hurt me. He's said some crappy stuff in the past but this time his goal was to cut me down. He compared me to Kathy, criticized the fact that I had trouble conceiving."

"_But doc, why is it taking so long? My troupers never had any trouble at all with my ex-wife, I have five beautiful children with her."_

"He got frustrated when my treatments didn't take right away. He started offering explanations for why I was having trouble and they were horrible."

"_Maybe you've just done too much, Liv. You've let the job control your life, your habits, your mind, maybe your body can't handle anything else."_

"_This job is not affecting my ability to have children, Elliot. Go to hell."_

"And, that last day, he almost ended me, Casey. He betrayed my trust and broke me."

"_Elliot!" Olivia gasped, bringing him impossibly closer to her on the small cot._

"_You won't fail me, you hear? You're going to have this child, damn it! There is no reason why you have to be such a total failure at motherhood before it even begins."_

_Olivia had frozen in place as he continued, the tears in her eyes threatening to fall every time she went to open her eyes._

"I had tried to forgive him then, I thought he was just angry with the fact that I couldn't get pregnant. I was angry too, I hated my body for not working the way I wanted it to, but I couldn't get past him calling me a fail—I couldn't get past him saying that. I tried to tell myself it wasn't true, that it was just some bad dream. I tried to tell myself it wasn't true, but it was all I heard and all I can see whenever he's around."

"Oh, Liv…" Casey sighed, and barely managed to settle Charlotte on her blanket on the floor before the new mother was in her arms, crying for something that had apparently been lost many months ago.

**XXXXX**

"You've got to help me, Don. She won't see or talk to me and she's got Casey out on the warpath against me," Elliot said, speaking freely because he knew it was Casey's night with the Benson family.

"Do you even understand what it is you did to her?"

"I left. I took away one of the few people she could trust in when I—why are you shaking your head?"

"Because, Elliot," Cragen sighed, " you don't understand worth a damn. You're a good cop, but nine months ago you were a lousy partner and an even worse friend. You not only took away her best friend, you took away her hope that she could live past what her mother might have been like. You destroyed the trust she had given you and broke her. Now you're back and you're trying to be nice when all Olivia remembers is the angry, bitter man who abandoned her nine months ago just as she had entrusted him with one of her life's secrets. She associates you with pain, Elliot. She has been pushed back enough and now she's learned to not step forward again. She won't tolerate your crap anymore and you better believe she would rather die then subject Charlotte to anything remotely close to that cruelty. Truth hurts, Elliot. You screwed up big time and I don't think anyone can really help you fix it."

**XXXXX**

_So…I apologize for the long wait? I got a mac, school started, life has been hectic, and I've been dealing with a lot of personal crap so expect a great big angsty story before this is done. As always, read and review. The reviews for the last chapter were less then satisfactory, and while I am grateful to those of you who took the time, there are many more people who didn't. Does anyone even care about this story anymore?_


	14. Chapter 14

Valentine's Day came and went quickly. Olivia teased Casey mercilessly about the bouquet of flowers she had received from a secret admirer and the two plus Charlotte, who greeted the world grinning happily from a pink onesie, ate dinner with Cragen, Munch, and Fin.

Olivia didn't know that Elliot had almost sent a bouquet himself that day, stopping only when he thought of the less-then-desirable consequences that could arise from such an action. Thoughts of bodily harm and various mental images of the pain he imagined Olivia could make him suffer made him stop.

Cragen was still feeding Elliot information about his baby and the woman he had stupidly let go. Motherhood suited Olivia, he said. She was happy, awed, and amazed by the tiny being she had brought into the world. Charlotte was doing well, too, always moving but almost never crying. The baby had grown accustomed to the SVU family, becoming especially fond of Casey's long hair and Munch's glasses. While Elliot treasured these little tidbits, hearing them hurt more then he had ever felt before. _He_ should have been there with them, but instead he had walked away. But…he had formed a plan, and while Cragen had said that nobody else would help, they would each play a part.

**XXXXX**

Cragen had mentioned that he had planned on stopping by the Saturday night after Valentine's Day, but he had canceled, citing work as his excuse. Elliot had begged him to not go, explaining that he needed to talk to Olivia. Cragen had recognized the determined look in the younger man's eyes. That look had faded away in the months preceding his leaving, but it was back now in full force.

Elliot had also asked a very frigid Casey to stop by and take Charlotte for an hour to visit the squadroom. She had grudgingly agreed, perking up only when she was asked to care for her niece.

Evidently, he had forgotten to mention the secrecy of his plan because when he arrived at Olivia's apartment she opened the door, arms folded in a defensive stance, looking for all the world like she could and would tear him apart in two seconds flat.

**XXXXX**

"What do you think you're doing, Elliot? Getting Casey to take away my child? Are you out of your mind?" she asked him incredulously, voice rising slightly as her argument came into stride.

"I wanted to talk to you without you using our child as an excuse to hide," Elliot replied quietly, determined to keep his temper in check.

"I would never use my child to run away when the going gets tough. I'll leave that to you," Olivia snapped, and Elliot sighed.

"I deserved that, and so much more. Liv, I'm so sorry, I wish I could take it all back, I wish I could've stayed with you. I missed out on the beginning of our child's life, the chance to become something great with you and I'm so sorry. You have to believe me," pleaded Elliot. The desperation was clear on his face again and Olivia found herself weakening. It took her a moment to steel her resolve, and it was difficult.

"You're a jerk, Elliot. A real jerk. I told you one of my secrets, I trusted you, and you turned it around and used it against me. I'm not going to pretend that I completely hate you, because what you did gave me my baby. But she's mine, Elliot. Charlotte is mine. You lost her when you decided that the mere idea of her wasn't worth it anymore. I'm also not going to pretend that I don't feel the need to prove that I'm an able mother—"

"You are an able mother, Liv. You're one of the most capable mothers in the city and Charlotte couldn't have done better," Elliot said emphatically.

"I know that now. I can do this. But that doesn't stop the fact that you hurt me, Elliot. I let you in and you hurt me. I won't just forget it. Not this time."

**XXXXX**

_Wow! Thanks for the response. Let's try and keep it up, ok? As always, not mine, read and review, and thanks for the support!_


	15. Chapter 15

Elliot Stabler was a monumental idiot. But he was the idiot who was in love with Olivia and Charlotte Benson.

And he had been a jerk. An epic jerk. A man who had taken all that Olivia had believed about men and made it a harsh reality. Let a man in, he'll cut her down. Show a little vulnerability and he'll broadcast it to anyone and everyone who mattered.

What he needed to do was prove to Olivia that she and her daughter were worth almost everything to him. Olivia and his children, that's what mattered. Getting Olivia to understand that despite being a total prick he truly cared about her was the tough part.

**XXXXX**

"Casey, I don't know what to do! He apologized…I don't think that's happened to me before. He says he regrets leaving me, leaving us," Olivia said, motioning to the baby in Casey's arms. She was confiding in Casey again, trusting the other woman with so much, getting a closer relationship than any friendship she had ever had, except Elliot.

"Do you believe him?"

"I don't know…I mean he's trying to make nice again, but I can't help but think he's only in it for a family, that because he and Kathy finally ended it he sought out the wife-substitute. Me."

"Wife substitute? Olivia, you don't owe him anything. You were a partner at work. If you lived in Brooklyn, you never would have met him. You were a friend, until he decided to stop that. You don't owe him a damn thing."

"That's where you're wrong, Case. I owe him so much, just for giving me Lottie."

**XXXXX**

He managed to wait a little less then a week before showing up at Olivia's apartment again. She was a long time in coming to the door but she opened it, sighing quietly as the baby in her arms stirred. He found himself unable to meet her deadened gaze.

"Could I come in? Please?" he asked, staring at her feet.

Another sigh, but her feet shifted to let him pass through the doorway. He hated that they had come to this.

He heard her shut and lock the door behind him as he made his way down the hall. He heard her following, murmuring softly to Charlotte, as she placed her in a rocker and cleaned up her tea. She seated herself near the rocker, and this time he met her gaze.

"You'll never know how sorry I am. I'm sorry that I used you as an emotional punching bag because I couldn't handle that the familiarity of home was falling apart. You have always been so strong, and I wanted to have someone hurting as much as me," Elliot admitted.

"Well congratulations, Elliot," Olivia retorted.

"If you suffered half as much as I did when you left for Oregon then I know I'll never be able to make things right. But you have to know that I love you," at this her face froze, "and I love our daughter, and I only want to make you both happy. If that means that I turn around and never come back, so be it. But I think I know you better then to do that."

"You don't know me at all," she snapped, but she looked a little disappointed with the believed truth in that statement.

"I know that you love the color amber and that you never take off your 'Fearlessness' necklace. I know that you can't stay up past ten without having a pick-me-up tea and that when you're not working the world will never see you before noon. I know that, while you try so hard to fit in with the guys, you can't go more then a month without going to a salon and being pampered. I know that you loved your mother very much, despite all of your bad memories. I know that I'm an ass but I want to make things better, Liv. I really do."

**XXXXX**

_So this is a pretty late update, and I'm sensing that this story is coming to an end. I think one, maybe two chapters and then this is it. As always, read and review, they're not mine, etc. Thanks for reading!_


	16. Chapter 16

The day after Charlotte turned one month old, Elliot and Olivia went out on their first official date. He had been included in all group meetings prior to then, and he had also been allowed to visit on his own. Casey and the others had warmed up a little bit after Elliot's visit to Olivia's apartment. Obviously Olivia had talked to them.

Elliot was there when Charlotte smiled for the first time. Both he and Olivia were sharing slight grins when the baby cooed and gurgled happily.

He was also there when Charlotte rolled, unexpectedly, a little after she turned two months. It had both frightened and pleased Olivia, and the look of amazement on her face wasn't one he'd soon forget. At five months, Charlotte was laughing, reaching for toys, and recognizing faces. Elliot and Olivia were also becoming serious, and when she returned to work she was working solo in the squadroom, while Elliot was paired with Munch.

Charlotte sealed the deal on their relationship when she exclaimed "dada!" as Elliot arrived one night with Chinese food. Soon after that he moved into their apartment, making both Olivia and Charlotte very happy.

Elliot's kids enjoyed Olivia and their half-sibling too, delighting in the adorable baby and the funny quirks she had. Maureen had pushed him into offering Olivia the ring he had been keeping in his pocket, and as soon as Charlotte could walk, she was the flower girl at her parent's wedding.

**XXXXX**

"Mama, tell me the story about how you fell in love with Daddy," twelve-year old Charlotte requested, snuggled up to Olivia in Elliot's recliner.

"Well you see, sweetheart, your dad and I were best friends for so long, and I wanted a baby so bad…"

**XXXXX**

_Thanks so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed this story. As always, read, review, not mine…you all should get the point by now. I'm trying to figure out what my next project will be, so if anyone has any requests be sure to voice them! I have one idea in my head…but I wanna know what you want to read!_

_Untitled Fic—When Olivia decided that she wanted to become a foster mom, she had no idea it would be like this…_


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